Who Would Win The Ultimate Martial Arts Fight: Steven Segal Lawman Against Michael Jackson!
|By: Al Case | Nov 16 2010 | 404 words | 837 hits|
I love to have The Gloved One fight. His moves are so polished, his sense of timing is exquisite. Heck, Steven Seagal Lawman is gonna have to be on his best to beat the zipper man!
First Stevie is ranked large, as in tents for shirts and the ugliest jackets known to a homeless man. This weight will give him an advantage, should he ever connect. But can he connect when the other fighter has the quickest mitts known to man?
And Stevie may have practiced Aikido since he was knee high to an oversized chihuahua, but let's hope he remembers some of his karate tricks. Michael, you see, has those slip and slide, velvet coated slobberknickers. Those hands slick and glide, duck and dodge, and can fool even the smartest artist.
Now, Michael may have gotten the first few jabs in, but Steven does have a few tricks up his voluminous sleeves. He's got...Louisiana Firepower! He's got access to shotguns, handguns, and redneck nightclubs!
Uh, the bashing kind of nightclubs, not the moonwalk kind of nightclubs. Though, to think about it, Stevie does strum a mean guitar, and maybe he could swing that guitar like an ax! Surely a big old electric music maker bashed up against the side of Michael's skull would cause some kind of trauma!
Anyway, I know there are going to be a few people that aren't going to go along with my conclusions, but I want you to consider the Beat It video. In that video Michael leaps into the fray and disarms two seasoned streetfighters armed with wicked looking knives! Now that has got to take some kind of tough!
And, if that isn't tough enough, you can see other videos where Michael outruns machine guns, dashes the hopes of armies of baddies, and all while singing! Sure, Steven can sing, but...I've never seen him sing in the middle of one of his movie gangbangs! Heck, all Stevie can do, in the middle of the slugfest, is grunt, look grim, and give a one liner when it is all over!
Okay, I think I've made my point, and only the biggest fool isn't going to agree with me that The King of Pop would lay waste to the King of Aikido. Unless the Aikido Bad Ass can draw and shoot faster than than a politician's mouth! Now if only Michael would come back to life so we could really see this ultimate martial arts fight!
This has been fun, but if you want some no nonsense martial arts, then mouse to Monster Martial Arts
and pick up a free book on Matrix Martial Arts